Ok well now everyone has a waxing job horror story or two. Not just the girls Im sure but come on guys admit it you have tried it? Or maybe you haven’t had the balls (no pun intended) to do it and have just stuck to shaving or using Nair. But for those who have been brave enough to wax there pussies and balls here is a little story that you will get a good laugh out of and probably can relate to it.

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now…the wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet.

So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I’m no girly girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end. (Oh how this phrase haunts me!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north.

After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the
ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my
pussy lip and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip.) I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I’m blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!! OH MY GOD!!! Vision returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull off half of the strip. SHIT!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP.

Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There’s no hair on it.

Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair.. the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. SHIT

I run my fingers over my pussy , which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake… remember my foot is
still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I
put my foot down. FUCK!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.
Pussy hole? Sealed shut. Ass?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself “Please don’t let me get the urge to shit. My head may pop off.

“Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I’ll run the hottest water I can
stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn’t melt cold wax.

So, now I’m stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that
convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my
friend thinking surely she’s waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It’s a very good conversation starter “So, my Ass and Pussy are stuck to the bottom of the tub!” There is a slight pause. She doesn’t have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom “Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?” She’s laughing out loud by now… I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH! Right! I should be the joke of someone else’s night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace… the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids, scared the shit out of my friend, but I really don’t care. “IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty
congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair… THE HAIR IS STILL THERE… ALL OF IT!

So I shaved it off. Heck, I’m numb at this point.

Next week I’m going to try hair color…

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Rules For Driving In Montreal…

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Montreal driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it willinevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. Quebec is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn’t have anything to lose.

8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.

9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to scare people entering the highway.

10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the Montreal area during rush hour.

11. Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a Montreal driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.

12. Learn to swerve abruptly. Montreal is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Ministère de Transport which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes.

13. It is traditional in Montreal to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light changes.

14. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

15. Remember that the goal of every Montreal driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

16. In the Montreal area flipping someone the bird is considered a Quebec salute. This gesture should always be returned .

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A friend sent this to me, now I don’t believe in chain letters but I got a good laugh out of this, its so true.

and my favorite

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If I was staring at naked asses while watching the game hell yeah im there.

New Job Opening






Where do I sign up!!!

One for the guys

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I think next time I will order the vegetarian plate!

New country song

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and you are asking what my first clue would be, well some nude guy hanging on to the side of the building about 3 stories up would be a dead give away. Ouch I sure hope he lost his hardon before he climbed out there talk about a bad scrape.

Actually Im just shitting you. That is a picture of spiderman, seems super man came home early and caught him fucking wonder woman

the site is still in the process of being completed, when its fully finished I will have free porn pictures for the guys and for the girls for all you cheap bastards that don’t want to pay for it.
but if you want quality porn with good movies go to hardvid good quality movies pretty cheap.

Great day at work today

Lets see where to start, well my monitor blew up, not littarlly but it started doing all kinds of funny shit, then got a really bad smell.
Lets just say not a good sign. Its a good thing we had a spare one kicking around. (she says sarcastically) but I do have to downsize from a 19″ to a very small one. And I put my glasses where??? have no fucking clue, need to dig them out
One thing I do have to say is there is never a dull moment at work. You see I work with two greek men and an Italian who thinks he is french, and of course when speaking they have to use three languages in one conversation. so a typical convo would start off like this
Ella, Malacka, tabarnack,calias you need what size? and there is more greek thrown in there as well, so you see not only do I need to learn more french but also greek now this should be interesting considering I have hard enough time speaking my own native lanuage english ..hehe

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Scientists now say they have proof that men have sex on the brain literally
They say that extensive tests were not enough to prove this fact. But when accompanied by a catscan, they now say that this is sufficient enough to prove there findings.

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When we were little girls, we wanted dolls and friends. As we grow and turn into teens we trade in our dolls for lipstick, makeup, boyfriends and parties. in our 20’s we start looking for husbands to have children with because everyone else is and we don’t know any better. Once the kids come and start growing up we look at our husbands and wonder good grief what the hell was I drinking or smoking when I agreed to marry this guy. So then we do what most of the population does, we get divorced and kick their sorry asses to the curb because we realize that all though they were willing to contribute to our cause at that time they now no longer appeal to us.

So now that brings us to the start of the best time of our lives when we hit our 30’s and our sexual peak kicks in. I don’t know about anyone else but I love being 30+.
Now a whole new need for us women over 30 kicks in, we need to be sexually satisfied and find someone who can fulfill this request. So the hunt is on to find a Partner or special someone who cannot only satisfy us sexually but who can keep up with our needs and wants in bed, and is at our level of maturity and intellect. Now guys don’t get all excited when you meet a woman who is over 30 and has kids, and think that were all just looking for a fuck or someone to step in and take over the daddy role. Im not saying there are not women out there like that, but for most of us myself included were looking for a partner or a special someone for ourselves to enjoy.

Ok so here comes the warning part, Now every man out there is willing to give this a go to help us with our needs, but not all of them can rise up to the cause (no pun intended) And some of us are lucky to find someone who has all of these qualities.(like myself who was lucky to find someone that fufills all my needs and then some)But then there are women out there who are not so lucky and they find themselves test driving alot of specimens to fulfill all there requests. Unfortunately some of these specimens cannot keep up with the ladies in there peaks and find themselves purchasing Viagara to help keep there cocks harder for our enjoyment and many orgasms that we long to have.
Ok guys so if your going to take the little blue pill to help fulfill your ladies requests remember DO NOT DRINK ALCHOL while taking these pills or you will end up like the poor guy in this picture, and thats just when he is taking a piss just imagine the outcome if you were to orgasm either in us or in our mouth while we are giving you the best blow job in your life. You know that slogan JUST IMAGINE well do I need to say more?

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