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A Day In The Life Of A Single Mom

Day to day life for me is pretty hectic, and I know all of the single moms and dads can relate to this with a smile:

Every day starts off the same the alarm goes off you smack the snooze a few times, then you realize its not Saturday and you have to get up. So you throw off the covers Jump out of bed, walk towards the kitchen because you need coffee before you can see. Then on the way to the shower you wake up the kids, It would be so much easier if you were by yourself, but when you have kids you multiply hectic by the number of kids you have.
Ok now if you have a child like my daughter who is hell to wake up in the morning especially on school days, during the weekend she is up at crack of dawn. Now we have a new kitten (8 weeks old) when I open her door to wake her up he jumps at me and starts chasing my feet, biting and scratching ouch!!!! Ok so now everyone is up including the damn cat (who by the way is like having a 2 yr old all over again) I jump in the shower, while my daughter (who is 10) makes her lunch, feeds the cat and makes her own breakfast then sits down to watch sponge bob (dumb show). Im so glad that her school wears uniforms otherwise she would never get dressed its like a fashion show on non school days. Ok so shower is done im getting dressed, doing hair makeup etc..and I am thanking god I am not a High maitenance woman, I can accomplish everything in 20 min flat 15 if im rushed We are up at 7:45 and out the door by 8:30.
After I drop my daughter off at school I head off to the nearest Tim Hortons to get my morning transfusion of caffine and off to the office for another day of work.
My Job is very interesting I work with two greek men and 1 italian who thinks he is French, so this makes the day very interesting.
After the work day is done its time to go home and back to your real job which is looking after your kids all us single parents know that working is like having a holiday.
As I walk down the hallway to my apt the stress starts to build because you know whats coming next when you walk in the house, you take a deep breath and open the door..
When the door opens it is a free for all, the cat comes flying around the corner to once again chew on my feet or climb my leg, my daughter comes running out to show me the 50 million fucking sheets of paper I have to sign for the next day. Your trying to get your shoes off but its not working cause the Im hungry gets thrown in there too. So you go over to the fridge figure out what your going to cook and throw it in the oven. Food is in the oven and you try to quietly make it back to the door to take off your shoes and coat, no such luck here comes my daughter again with a whole crap of other papers for me to read..ok this is getting bad I have been home 15 min still have shoes and coat on, so Im looking at the door to my bedroom as she is talking a million miles a min about everything she did today. I decide to make a dive for the door cause I know once inside im safe for about 5 min she knows when my door is shut u better not knock unless you are bleeding to death or you have limbs hanging off. I dive for the door shut it real quick and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh peace at last just enough time to take off the shoes and coat and get changed into something more comfy.

Ok 5 min is up and you have to go back out, you open the door and she is waiting patiently to show homework and tell you what she needs help with..Ok this is where it gets interesting since she is in French immersion and I cannot speak a lot of French so she must translate before I can help her (haha this pisses her off a lot).
Its now 6:30 I have been home for an hour and a half, homework is complete, all the fucking papers are signed for school, cheq is written for daycare and lunch program, dinner is on the table and its silent again for all of 20 min while she eats. This is where I sneak in checking my emails on the computer. So now dinner is done (check) emails checked, my daughter is doing dishes and im picking up after the morning rush thru the house. After everything is done and its going on 8 of course this is when all the kids tell you that they have to have something for school the next day, and of course its always right before bed and after all the stores are closed( now I know all you parents out there are nodding your head in agreeance) I swear to god they do this just to test you to see if you can actually pull it off and pull a rabbit out of a hat.(grrrrrrrrrr) After that problem gets solved and its usually by saying oh well now you have to wait until morning and I have to wake you up earlier so we can go out and buy it (hahaha this is where payback comes in since she hates getting up early) that is when the groan comes out. Now its 9 pm and all you want to do is sit down and relax, of course the kids come out of the room 50 million times for a glass of water, bathroom etc, whatever it takes to get out of going to bed. Then the last time she comes out of her room its for a doosey, she forgot to tell me that her school uniform is dirty and requires cleaning tonight!!! I swear to god im going to scream now, its amazing how more parents are not commited to institutions. They always say whatever you gave to your parents your kids will give it back to you 3x as bad, well hell I can’t remember being that bad to my parents (grin). So guess who has to do laundry at 9:30 at night. By the time I run up and down the stairs atleast 4x to do the laundry I think oh well atleast I dont have to work out tonight (hehe).
Its midnight and you finally crawl into bed, oh but wait, here comes the fucking cat who is watching and waiting for you to move so he can pounce on you. The little shit head actually got under my blankets one night while I was sleeping and I must of moved during the night cause I woke up real fast and in major pain to find that the cat had sunk his claws into my kitty (since I sleep in the nude). Omg talk about not making any sudden moves. I had to literally remove his claws(lets just say he is getting declawed and de nutted as soon as he is old enough). And guess what happens after you go to sleep??? You wake up and get to do the same shit all over again the next day!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now you know why I can’t wait for my summer holidays to begin..
WOOO HOOO 1 MORE SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

May 24 Weekend

The weekend started off shitty when I lost my wallet in a driveway in Lachine. When I realized i had lost it, and called to find out if anyone found it, was already an hour later and the garbage men had already been to pick up the garbage.. anyways This entry is dedicated to the Lachine Garbage truck driver who found my wallet took the money and tossed it in the back of the garbage truck.. All I can say is your a big asshole you could of took the money and left it in the can for someone to find but noooooooooooo you had to throw it away. I hope some day you loose your wallet and you feel what its like to loose all your ID and have to replace it all. I will find out who you are, because Im going to call the company and find out who worked that street on that day.. so its just a matter of time. I also just wanted to say you didn’t ruin my weekend I still had a great time and just remember what comes around goes around. So I salute you asshole.
And when I find out who you are, everyone on the Net will know who you are too so ya picked the wrong woman to fuck with. Who knows if he will ever see this, but hey it felt good to write.
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You Win asshole of the week award
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Go Fuck yourself

Bikini Shopping 101

Ok well I learned a few things today,#1. bathing suits are getting uglier and uglier by the year. The colors are not only disgusting but so are the designs I found a few I liked but could not get a straight answer on how they looked on me..that brings me to #2 never take your 10 yr old daughter shopping and ask her for her opinion especially if they have there eye on something they want, because no matter what you look like there gonna say you look great mom just to get to the isle where they want to be.

Try explaining this one to your daughter
why there is a giant penis in the back of someones truck, and what are they going to do with it?
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well you see hunny there going to errr ummmmmmmmmm well..thats when you do a hey look over there and then quickly turn down another street while cranking the raido up hoping to distract them on something else..

Mechanically Inclined

Ok well Im not one to brag but I am mechanically Inclined which ladies is a good thing for single moms. The more you can fix on your own the more confidence you have in your life. Over the years I have learned to fix things on my own by taking them apart and putting them back together just to see if I could do it. And amazingly enough I have been able to do it. I took two broken fans and made a working one let me tell ya it took 4 hrs of cursing and throwing screw drivers but that cool breeze coming from the fan I built made it all worth while. Ok so here I buy this 500 dollar shit box car, well it was better than the piece of crap van I was driving. So a typical friday night is take my daughter to block busters for moives for her and the babysitter, stop at a takeout and get her mcdees or whatever she feels like. So here I am in the mcdonalds drive thru and my crap box overheats grrrrrrrrrrr. ok I lift the hood to find not one drop of water in the radiator and the coolant container empty. I quickly look under the car to see if there is a leak..nope no leak.. of course I turned it off right away don’t want to blow a head gasket that would be worse.
I get home and of course find out that the fan to the radiator has stopped working as well *sigh* and that the radiator is also going to need replacing. Im thinking great now Im either going to have to replace the rad and the fan..or figure out whats wrong with the fan and make the rad last another month..which it has atleast 2 months left and why do more work when you don’t have to. Anyways I make a trip to canadian tire crossing my fingers its a fuse since the heater isn’t working either. gawd and wouldn’t ya know it thats all it was so im thanking god that I didn’t have to change the rad in the rain today. and that ladies is car mechanics 101 always check the little things before jumping to the bigger ones it will save time,money and your nails ;).
Stay tuned for tomorrows lesson on how to shop for the perfect bikini.
this should be fun can you say “NOT”.

But Mommy why won’t the kangroo take the food from my hand?
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Introducing the newest memeber of our family

Well the newest member of our family just arrived last friday, it is a 8 week old kitten named bizzou, but I have been calling him shithead. Im telling you never get a kitten, get one that is a few months old alot easier. Its like having a newborn and two yr old all in one. He is cute however, but man do they cry alot. And he can’t sleep unless he is lying on you he needs the warmth to sleep. Tho one thing I have definately learned is that you need to sleep fully clothed or keep the door shut. I must of twitched or moved during the night and lets just say my kitty got a little wounded. small puncutre holes nothing dramatic, but man what a rude awakening. The really good thing that has come out of this is my 10 yr old daughter is learning all about responsibility and so far has only bitched a few times about cleaning the shit from his litte behind..ha. being a kitten like little kids have accidents..hehe hopefully this will make her think twice when she is a teen to say no to sex. Yeah right a mother could only wish. below is a pic of our little darling with his sibblings.

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